Amilie swallowed and took another deep breath. She looked at him seriously and waited before she nodded.
"My parents were killed by the gang." She managed to say it while still looking at his eyes, though she could feel the lump in her throat causing tears in her eyes. She hadn't spoke of what happened for a long time, since she started her college course three years ago and started working for the paper as an intern, when she had met Owen.
Alexavier felt his shoulder's slump, he shook his head "I'm so sorry" he told her. He didn't understand why her parents would have been killed though... unless it had been by accident but then again in a gang nothing was ever done by accident. Were his father still alive he'd ask his father if he knew anything about it but his father was dead. He wanted to walk over to her and give her hug, hold her tightly and tell her that he wished he could change her past so she didn't have to have suffered that. But he couldn't. He knew she most likely would just scream if he touched her right now. What if he did try and find out who killed her parents? He would have to snoop around the older members but it could be done... but then if he told her and she told the cops... Alexavier would be known as a squeak. And frankly he didn't want that.
Amilie shook her head. There was no way 'sorry' from anyone could fix what had happened. But hearing it from Alexavier made her feel heavier inside somehow, she almost couldn't draw breath.
She had to force herself to breathe in and out.
"It's wrong Alex." She said quietly. "You've got Kisa to think about." She looked at the floor and swallowed. "What are you going to do when she's old enough to know you're lying about you're work? You going to tell her you've killed people?" She looked up at him and closed her eyes. She couldn't be with a killer, someone who worked for a gang that had killed her parents, she couldn't. Technically she had to responsibility to report him to the police. But she knew she couldn't.
And that killed her.
"I shouldn't have asked." She whispered shaking her head, now she didn't know what to do now.
Alexavier shook his head, like mentioning his daughter was not a smart thing "Don't talk about Kisa" he said shaking his head, his eyes grew a little dangerous. He didn't know what he would tell her when she was older, of course he knew he would tell her the truth but Kisa had a big heart. He of course would then have to explain about her mother... "Leave her out of this" he said. He didn't want his daughter dragged into the argument of now.
"Amilie... please..." he muttered looking at her "If you were in my shoes, having grown up with what I have... this would seem natural" he said "I can't leave here until you tell me you wont tell anyone. If you do, you aren't going to be safe"
Amilie frowned, he was denying that this would effect Kisa? He was avoiding his guilty conscious by not talking about it. She was disappointed, not just in her blindness of not seeing what he was, but in the fact that he was what he was.
She didn't want him to be.
She liked him and his daughter.
She shook her head. "You could have changed it, you could have done whatever you wanted to do Alex, you're not an idiot, at least, I've never thought you were." She could have been wrong, but she didn't want to admit that.
"There is no excuse to kill someone Alex, human lives... they change everyday, the lives of junkies they can be changed, they need help not death." Her voice was quiet, she was still trying to hide her emotions.
"Are you going to kill me if I do the right thing?" She asked quietly, looking at him with a slightly angry expression.
Alexavier sighed and shrugged, he wasn’t going to argue with her. She didn’t understand. She didn’t know life from his shoes. If she did maybe she would understand “I’m not going to argue with you Amilie, you don’t understand. And I don’t think you ever will” he said. She was a smart girl. But she wasn’t willing to open her mind.
“I wouldn’t kill you” he said looking to her eyes “I couldn’t” he said, well not willingly anyhow. But he knew who would.
Amilie frowned when he said she didn't understand. Who would understand killing people? What was the point of it? It was selfish! Especially when one had a family to care for.
"You want me to understand why my parent were killed? There was no reason Alex! It was just a mindless break in steal something and then kill whoever they found." Her voice was getting loud, but she caught herself and stopped. She didn't understand why they hadn't looked for her, after all there were pictures of three in the family all over the house.
He couldn't kill her, not unless he wanted to kill several other people as well. If something happened to her, Owen would blame Alexavier, and Lilith would come out. At least, she was sure Owen would ask if not make Lilith come out.
"I don't want to understand something that is wrong Alex." She said quietly trying not to look at him. Saying his name hurt enough, but looking into his eyes and knowing that things weren't going the way they wanted would only hurt more. Poor Kisa. She sat on the desktop and closed her eyes, suddenly tired and a little dizzy.
"Do you want to understand anything that is right?" She added in a whisper.
Alexavier shook his head and placed a hand on his forehead "I don't know why your parents were killed, yes it was wrong that you had to suffer but you don't know why they were killed either!" he said looking at her "Maybe there was another reason" he said, he knew a few times when they killed someone they made it look like something different.
He watched her sit down and sighed at her question, he was getting annoyed that she didn't understand. That she didn't WANT to understand. The way he was brought up this felt right. What he did was right "I understand what is right, I understand what is wrong" he told her.
Amilie frowned as he said there could have been a reason. She shook her head and instead of letting her anger out this time she put her head in her hands. She wouldn't fight over this anymore, her parents murder was senseless and unjustified.
There was no reason to kill two parents and leave a teenager all on her own.
There were so many bad parts about this, she was loosing a boyfriend, she was angered about her parents again, she had the gang who killed them in her sights, but because of Alex, she could do nothing.
A nightmare come true.
"What is the difference Alex?" She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. "What is right and what is wrong?" She really doubted he truthfully knew. He couldn't willingly do what was wrong as a living. He couldn't...
Alexavier looked down, almost away from Amilie, his hands in his pockets he was getting annoyed with this conversation. Had Ianthe reacted like this when Chris had told her? He wondered if like Ianthe, Amilie would get over it. Currently he didn't see that happening.
"Why are we talking about this?" he snapped "Amilie, we're moved from the real topic" he told her, his voice let her know he hated the topic they were talking about and that he felt threatened in a way.
Re: Grim Tidings « Reply #30 on May 24, 2007, 9:46am »
Amilie slumped from the desktop into her chair behind it. To her it was all inter-related, really, mob and gangs had a lot to do with what was wrong, and very little to do with what was right, so to her what was wrong and right to Alexavier did matter and was still part of the topic, but she had some reservations now about his anger.
A little fear tweaked inside her and she closed her eyes. So this was how she was going to feel now? Scared of someone she liked? Scared to speak her mind in case he got too angry?
She frowned a little and opened her eyes. No. That wasn;t like her, she wouldn't be scared to speak her mind.
"No, you're right." She said standing up again. "We have strayed." she played along, though there was a strong tone in her voice. "We were talking about the gang you work for and how they murdered people, with children." She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You're a person with a child Alex, what is going to happen if you do something they don't like?" Her voice dropped a little and her fear moved from being on her, to being on him and Kisa, what would happen if Alexavier did something they didn't like? Would they kill him too? Leave little Kisa alone?
Amilie sobered up a little, and her face suddenly seemed void of emotion as she thought about that chilling prospect.
Re: Grim Tidings « Reply #31 on May 24, 2007, 5:56pm »
Alexavier rolled his eyes and licked his teeth, he knew he couldn't lose his tempter here. It would end ill for him. They murdered people who deserved it. True, some people had children but most had other family and would be better off without the parents they had lost corrupting their innocence. Amilie's family would have been a mistake. Most likely they got robbed by one of the lesser looked up to members and wanted someone to recognize them. Alexavier didn't know.
"Then I would most likely be killed" he said, he hated the idea, but he had his own father killed. How weird was that. Bionco Jnr had asked if he wanted his own father knocked off and Alexavier had said yes. Without even thinking more on it. But it was wonderful knowing his father would never interfere with his life again " Kisa would go to her grandmother, she would be safe. They wouldn't harm her. She would be spared and all the money I have earned would go to my daughter" he said seriously, liking dying didn't bother him. He hated the thought of him dying though and leaving his beautiful daughter alone but she would be looked after. His step-mother adored Kisa though she was strict with her, it was the only grand-daughter she had.
Re: Grim Tidings « Reply #32 on May 28, 2007, 11:22pm »
Amilie frowned, she wasn't sure she believed that. She would imagine that they'd get through to him by using his daughter, at least, thats what they always did in movies. She didn't want to stop seeing him, she liked him, but, things would never be the same.
"Alex, I don't know what you want from me." She said, she wasn't sure why she had said it, or what she meant by it. She sniffed and looked up at him, licking her lips slowly and swallowed.
Re: Grim Tidings « Reply #33 on May 30, 2007, 9:51pm »
Alexavier closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head "I just... I don't want anything from you" he said opening his eyes and looking at her. No, that was a lie. He wanted her to love him, he wanted her to be there for him. Like Jun'ko once had been. Before she had cheated on him.
"No..." he muttered then shaking his head again "I don't want you to tell anyone about this, about me and who I work for. Amilie, if it gets out, it will destroy my life and Kisa's" he didn't want to imagine a world without his little girl.
But what did she want from him?
Alex looked down "I don't want to stop seeing you though..."
Re: Grim Tidings « Reply #34 on Jun 7, 2007, 7:46pm »
Amilie knotted her fingers and pulled at them in her lap, hiding them from Alexavier’s eyes. She looked at the desktop and breathed slowly. She really didn’t want to ruin things for him, he seemed in control of his life, for the moment at least. She wouldn’t be the one to destroy that for him.
She tried so hard not to look at him as he finished talking. She didn’t really want to stop seeing him either, she enjoyed his company… But she wasn’t sure it was the same now she knew what he did. She had a preconception about gangsters, and well, that was programmed into her, he seemed nothing like her idea of a gangster. She tried not to imagine him and guns in the same image. She was terrified at the thought of him holding a gun, but the idea of one being pointed at him made her want to scream, cry, anything, something.
She looked back up at him and swallowed. Could she pretend Owen had never told her and keep trying to see him? No, she couldn’t deny the truth; she had never been that kind of girl. “I don’t know if it will be the same Alex, but, I don’t want to end this either, well, not this… us.” She wanted to end the conversation, she really did, but she didn’t want to stop seeing him. Or Kisa.
Re: Grim Tidings « Reply #35 on Jun 8, 2007, 10:29pm »
Alexavier shook his head "Well, how about I leave... and you decide what you want to do. My life is in your hands" he said, if everything got out about him. He'd either be killed or put in jail but either way Kisa would lose her father. She lost her mother, grandfather... she couldn't lose her father too "I know it wont be the same between us but... maybe that this is out of the way it will be... maybe better?"
He looked at the flowers he had brought her. He had so come here in a good mood. Now he wasn't in a nice one.
Re: Grim Tidings « Reply #36 on Jun 12, 2007, 11:11pm »
Amilie looked at the flowers and swallowed, nodding slowly. It was a good idea that he leave, she had work to do anyhow. Research, lessons to look up. She didn't want to say anything about the relationship being better, she didn't see that happening, not in the immediate future anyway, but she was too clouded bu her upset to think about things getting better anyway.
"I'll see you later Alex." She said quietly, opening a drawer and pulling out a folder to make herself look busy, though she knew once Alex left, Owen would come in.
She couldn't see herself doing much work today, no, today was probably the perfect opportunity to go 'job hunting'.
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